reason number 3 and 4 for relapsing

Reason 3: People have a “longing to belong”.

As well as the need to be harmonious with how we define ourselves, human beings have a very strong need to be accepted by other people.

 if you’re a man, have you never noticed how often you make a hurly-burly when you don’t get the attention you desire? And if you’re a woman
, what’s all that makeup really about?

The fact is, we all have a longing to belong. A need to fit in, to be loved, to be accepted by other people.

But if we are used to hanging out with a certain crowd, or if we are too fearful of being separated from our loved ones, the cost of doing better for ourselves may seem like too high of a price to pay.

When that happens, it’s a good time to ask: What will it cost me if I don’t do better?

 The Solution: Become more secure within yourself. Be less focused on your fears, and more focused on your purpose.
 

Reason 4: The more you deny your feelings, the greater the internal conflict becomes until they are finally addressed.

 So if deep down inside myself I feel like I’m a loser, then how am I going to act, and what kind of results will I expect? I’ll expect I’m going to lose! I’ll expect that sooner or later I’ll fail, slip … And sure enough, because that’s what I keep my focus on, that’s what I inevitably find examples of. Which only reinforces my perception that I’m a loser. Here’s another example. What if I really want a relationship with someone, but deep down in my heart I have a subconscious belief that “people can’t be trusted”? How will those subconscious feelings cause me to act? At the very least, I’ll be guarded, suspicious, and doubtful. So then what kind of things will I usually be on the lookout for? Anything that confirms my doubts! And so what will I inevitably find? Things that confirm my doubts! You see how that works? When dealing with their addictions, many people who have tried to quit and failed will only see more evidence of their inability to succeed. A solution is still open to them, but there is no way for it to be seen in the direction they are currently looking! Eventually, after so many failed attempts, they just resign themselves to accepting there is nothing more they can do about it.

Don’t get trapped there. Instead, think of the positive steps you have already taken and be open to ways to improve your strategy. And keep moving forward, you are on a reliable path. Just remember it is the meaning you give to things that ultimately leads to your results. In this case, a better belief might be: A loser isn’t someone who falls down. A loser is someone who stays down. 

The Solution: Begin by making small daily improvements, and constantly acknowledge what you are doing well